God will provide

shivaathervedi_2 · Post by **shivaathervedi_2** » Mon Apr 09, 2018 8:49 pm

Budd qismati se, shakal se kali biwi ne apne shohar (husband) se kaha ke khirki (window) ke pardey (curtain) lagwa kar dei(n) saamney wala prosi (neighbor) mujhey dekhney ki koshish karta hai.
Shohar ne kaha eek baar dekh leney dou, woh khud hi apni khirki pe pardey lagwa le ga.

shivaathervedi_2 · Post by **shivaathervedi_2** » Mon Apr 09, 2018 8:54 pm

Betta: Abu mujhey shaadi (marriage) nahi karni. Mujhey auratu(n) se darr lagta hai.
Father: Kar le betta, Shaadi ke baid sirf eek aurat se darr lagey ga baqi subb achhi lage(n) gi.

shivaathervedi_2 · Post by **shivaathervedi_2** » Mon Apr 09, 2018 9:00 pm

Daadi (grand ma) aap ke zamaney mey dus dus (10) buchey (children) kiyu(n) hotey thee?
Daadi replied innocently: Hum saari raat (night) Face Book, U Tube aur What app per waqt barbaad nahi kartey thee.

shivaathervedi_2 · Post by **shivaathervedi_2** » Fri Apr 27, 2018 9:16 pm

Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance you must keep moving.

Albert Einstein

shivaathervedi_2 · Post by **shivaathervedi_2** » Fri Apr 27, 2018 9:24 pm

EEK AADMI NE MOWLVI SAHEB SE KAHA KE MERI BIWI MUJH SE LARR KAR MEKEY CHALI GAI HAI.

MOWLVI SAHEB NE KAHA; SUBHAN ALLAH AUR TUM APNEY RUBB KI KAUN KAUN SI NIAMATU(N) KO JHUTTLAO GE.

shivaathervedi_2 · Post by **shivaathervedi_2** » Fri Apr 27, 2018 9:29 pm

ABB ISS SE BARH KAR MUSAWAT E ISHQ KIYA HOGI
WOH LA MAKAAN HAI TOU DARBADAR HUM BHI HAI(N)

shivaathervedi_2 · Post by **shivaathervedi_2** » Fri Apr 27, 2018 9:34 pm

MAI(N) SUCH KAHU(N) TOU BURA LAGEY
JO DALEEL DU(N) TOU ZALEEL HU(N)
YEH SAMAAJ JAHAL KI ZAD MEY HAI
YAHA(N) SUCH BAAT KARNA BEKAAR HAI

shivaathervedi_2 · Post by **shivaathervedi_2** » Sun May 06, 2018 9:22 pm

YUSUF KA YAHA(N) KOI KHARIDAR NAHI HAI
SHOWCASE ME SAJI BAITHI HAI ZULEKHA MERE AAGEY

DILAWAR FAGHAR

shivaathervedi_2 · Post by **shivaathervedi_2** » Sun May 06, 2018 9:27 pm

JAAT NA PUCHHE PAAT NA PUCHHE NA PUCHHE GA TERA DHARMA

RUBB TERA PUCHHE GA BUNDHEY KIYA THA TERA KARMA (DEEDS)

shivaathervedi_2 · Post by **shivaathervedi_2** » Sun May 06, 2018 9:31 pm

MEREY HATHU(N) KE TARASHEY HUEI PATHAR KE SANAM

AAJ BUTT KHANU ME BHAGWAAN BANEY BAITHEY HAI(N)

shivaathervedi_2 · Post by **shivaathervedi_2** » Sun May 06, 2018 9:36 pm

ABB KE ISS DAUR MEY SOHNI
GHAREY TOU SAREY PAKKEY HAI(N)
MAGAR MENHWAAL KACHEY HAI(N)

NAYYAR

shivaathervedi_2 · Post by **shivaathervedi_2** » Sun May 06, 2018 9:41 pm

HUM TALIB E SHUHRAT NAHI, HUME(N) NANG SE KIA KAAM

BUDNAAM AGAR HU(N)GE TOU KIA NAAM NA HOGA

SHEEFTA

shivaathervedi_3 · Post by **shivaathervedi_3** » Sat May 26, 2018 9:07 pm

Eek shadi ki taqreeb me jinn aa gaya jiss ko dekh kar larkiyu(n) ki chikhein nikal gaie(n).
Ek Baba jo waha(n) moujud tha larkiyu(n) se kaha, beta wuzu kar ke aau tou jinn kuchh nahi kahey ga.
Larkiya(n) wuzu kar ke aaei(n) tou unn ko dekh kar jinn ki chikhei(n) nikal gaei(n), make up jo utter gaya tha.

shivaathervedi_3 · Post by **shivaathervedi_3** » Sat May 26, 2018 9:11 pm

Ek aurat ne shohar ke gaal per betha machhar maar diya.
Shohar ne puccha issey kiu(n) mara?
Aurat ne kaha, mujhey accha nahi lagta ke koi aour aap ka khuun piyey.

shivaathervedi_3 · Post by **shivaathervedi_3** » Sat Jun 30, 2018 9:57 pm

AGAR HUM AMIR HOTEY
SAREY KHOTEY KHARED LETEY
KABHI HUM SAWAAR HOTEY
KABHI TUM SAWAAR HOTEY
NA PETROL KA KHARCHA
NA POLICE KA CHALLAN
JAHA(N) CHAHA PARKING KAR LETEY
AGAR HUM AMIR HOTEY ....

shivaathervedi_3 · Post by **shivaathervedi_3** » Sat Jun 30, 2018 10:02 pm

BAARISH SHARAB E 'ARSH HAI YEH SOCH KER 'ADUM
BAARISH KE SUBB HURUUF KO ULTA KE PI GAYA

'ADUM

shivaathervedi_3 · Post by **shivaathervedi_3** » Sat Jun 30, 2018 10:10 pm

Biwi (wife): Dekho mai(n) 55 saal ki ho gai hu(n)phir bhi tumhara eek dost meri ta'reef karta hai.

Shohar (husband): Woh Fayyaz Bhai hoga.

Biwi: Lekin tumhe(n) kaisey ma'lum huwa?

Shohar: woh Kabariya jo hai (dealer in junk articles).

shivaathervedi_3 · Post by **shivaathervedi_3** » Sat Jun 30, 2018 10:21 pm

Saas (Mother in Law) ko chahiye ke woh apni bahu (Daughter in Law) ko shabaas dey ke uss ney uss kay bachey ko sumbhal rakha hai.

shivaathervedi_3 · Post by **shivaathervedi_3** » Sat Jun 30, 2018 10:26 pm

Agar biwi maikey gai ho tou 1973 ke Aa'een (constitution) kay tanazur mei(n) kiya nigran (care taker) biwi rakhi ja sakti hai ke nahi?

shivaathervedi_3 · Post by **shivaathervedi_3** » Sun Jul 08, 2018 5:16 pm

Biwi (wife): Aap apney dost ki biwi ke janazey per kiyu(n) nahi ja rahey ho?
Shohar (husband): Mujhey jaatey huey sharm aati hai.
Biwi: Tou iss me sharmaney ki kiya baat hai?
Shohar: Woh mujhey apni chouthi (fourth) biwi ke janazey per bulla raha hai aur mai(n) ne aaj tak ussey eek baar bhi nahi bullaya.

shivaathervedi_3 · Post by **shivaathervedi_3** » Sun Jul 08, 2018 5:24 pm

Father: Shame on you, dekho padosan (neighbor) ki Ladki (girl) class mey awwal (first) aaei hai, eek tum ho ke...

Son: Aur kitna dekhta, ussey class me dekh dekh kar tou fail hua huu(n).

shivaathervedi_3 · Post by **shivaathervedi_3** » Sun Jul 08, 2018 5:31 pm

Pahla (first): Aaj hamari murghi (hen) ne andda (egg) diya hai.

Duja (second): tou iss me koun si bari baat hai!!

Pahla: Agar yeh bari baat nahi tou tum andda dey kar dikhao.

shivaathervedi_3 · Post by **shivaathervedi_3** » Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:15 pm

One morning Mullah Nasiruddin finds himself in the company of a youngster who, after scrutinizing the Mullah’s face, asks hesitantly, “Sir, I was wondering whether your beard stays over the blanket or under it when you go to bed at night.”

For the first time in his life, the sage is stumped. He scratches his head in puzzlement, “Son, I honestly don’t know, I haven’t paid attention, but I appreciate your asking it. It deserves some observation and thought.”

After some time,when the Mullah runs into the youngster again, his beard is gone; the latter obviously disappointed, has an inquiring, baffled look. The Mullah smiles indulgently, ” My boy, yours was some question; I didn’t know if it was right to leave the beard above the blanket or pull it below the blanket at night. I just couldn’t sleep anymore. My beard had to go.”

shivaathervedi_3 · Post by **shivaathervedi_3** » Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:17 pm

Mulla Nasruddin asked a wealthy man for some money to buy an elephant. If you don’t have money, you can’t afford to keep one, he was told. The Mullah was ready: “I came to you for some money, not advice.”

shivaathervedi_3 · Post by **shivaathervedi_3** » Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:20 pm

Two goldfish in a bowl talking:
Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God?
Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?

shivaathervedi_3 · Post by **shivaathervedi_3** » Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:24 pm

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."

shivaathervedi_3 · Post by **shivaathervedi_3** » Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:26 pm

father: What did you do today to help your mother?
Son: I dried the dishes
Daughter: And I helped pick up the pieces.

shivaathervedi_3 · Post by **shivaathervedi_3** » Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:29 pm

Man said to God --- Why did you make women so beautiful?
God said to man --- So that you will love them.
Man said to God --- But why did you make them so dumb?
God said to man --- So that they will love you.

shivaathervedi_3 · Post by **shivaathervedi_3** » Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:30 pm

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

shivaathervedi_3 · Post by **shivaathervedi_3** » Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:32 pm

The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present.
The student: I walk. You walk ....
The teacher intruptes him: Quicker please.
The student: I run. You run. We run.......