Just for a laugh

[From_Alamut]

One hot day, Nasruddin was taking it easy in the shade of a walnut tree. After a time, he started eying speculatively, the huge pumpkins growing on vines and the small walnuts growing on a majestic tree.

- Sometimes I just can't understand the ways of God! he mused. Just

fancy letting tinny walnuts grow on so majestic a tree and huge pumpkins on the delicate vines!

Just then a walnut snapped off and fell smack on Mullah Nasruddin's bald head. He got up at once and lifting up his hands and face to heavens in supplication, said:

- Oh, my God! Forgive my questioning your ways! You are all-wise. Where would I have been now, if pumpkins grew on trees!

[From_Alamut]

One day some wise men, who were going about the country trying to find answers to some of the great questions of their time, came to Mulla Nasruddin's district and asked to see the wisest man in the place. Mulla Nasruddin was brought forward, and a big crowd gathered to listen.

The first wise man began by asking, "Where is the exact center of the world?"

"It is under my right heel," answered Mulla Nasruddin.

"How can you prove that?" asked the first wise man.

"If you don't believe me," answered Mulla Nasruddin, "measure and see."

The first wise man had nothing to answer to that, so the second wise man asked his question. "How many stars are there in the sky?" he said. "As many as there are hairs on my donkey," answered Mulla Nasruddin.

"What proof have you got of that?" asked the second wise man.

"If you don't believe me," answered Mulla Nasruddin, "count the hairs on my donkey and you will see."

"That's foolish talk," said the other. "How can one count the hairs on a donkey?"

"Well," answered Mulla Nasruddin, "How can one count the stars in the sky? If one is foolish talk, so is the other." The second wise man was silent.

The third wise man was becoming annoyed with Mulla Nasruddin and his answers, so he said, "You seem to know a lot about your donkey, so can you tell me how many hairs there are in its tail?"

"Yes," answered Mulla Nasruddin. "There are exactly as many hairs in its tail as there are in your beard."

"How can you prove that?" said the other.

"I can prove it very easily," answered Mulla Nasruddin. "You can pull one hair out of my donkey's tail for every one I pull out of your beard. If the hairs on my donkey's tail do not come to an end at exactly the same time as the hairs in your beard, I will admit that I was wrong."

Of course, the third wise man was not willing to do this, so the crowd declared Mulla Nasruddin the winner of the day's arguments.

[From_Alamut]

One day, Mulla Nasruddin said to his friends: "If I die, bury me in an old grave." "Why", asked his friends. "Because", he explained, "if the angels come, I'll tell them that I died years before and have already been questioned and then they will return the way they came."

[kmaherali]

This is from MHI's speech!

"The opening of an important new building is always a cause of celebration - and it is wonderful to know that so many people are celebrating this occasion with us.

You may have heard about the man who was so excited when his friend opened a new building in his town that he sent a huge bouquet of flowers to celebrate that occasion. The only problem came when the bouquet arrived at the ceremony from the florist, and the card that was attached to the flowers read: "Rest in Peace."

Well, the man who sent the flowers was pretty upset by this error - and he immediately called the florist to complain. But the florist calmed him down by saying, "Don't worry. Just think of it this way. Somewhere in this town some poor soul is being buried today under a sign that says: "May you thrive in your new location."

Now, I don't know whether any cards got switched today at the floral shops of Nairobi. But I do want to make clear my wish for this new building. This will not be a place, I am sure, where anyone will ever want to "rest in peace." And my sincere wish for the Nation Group is that you will indeed, "thrive in your new location."

http://www.ismaili.net/timeline/1997/970312i.html

[From_Alamut]

The wit and wisdom of Mulla Nasruddin never leaves him tongue-tied. One day an illiterate man came to Mulla Nasruddin with a letter he had received.

Mulla Nasruddin, please read this letter to me. Mulla Nasruddin looked at the letter, but could not make out a single word. So he told the man.

I am sorry, but I cannot read this. The man cried:

Shame, Mulla Nasruddin! You must be ashamed before the turban you wear (i.e. the sign of education).

Mulla Nasruddin removed the turban from his own head and placed it on the head of the illiterate man, said:

There, now you wear the turban. If it gives some knowledge, read the letter yourself.

[From_Alamut]

One winter night while Mulla Nasruddin was sleeping he heard a noise that was suddenly made in the street. Having covered himself with his blanket, he came out to know the cause of the noise. Suddenly a smart thief robbed him of his blanket and ran away. He came back home without the blanket. In reply to his wife who was asking about the reason for the noise, Mulla Nasruddin said, "All the quarrel was about my blanket."

[From_Alamut]

NASRUDDIN - Keeper of Faith In Turkey, where some people allege Nasruddin is buried, there are HUGE locked gates at his grave site. Yet his headstone reads - "Sometimes you do not need a key to get through gates. All you need to do is walk around them as there are no walls."

[From_Alamut]

More Useful One day mullah nasruddin entered his favorite teahouse and said: 'The moon is more useful than the sun'. An old man asked 'Why mulla?' Nasruddin replied 'We need the light more during the night than during the day

[From_Alamut]

Promises Kept A friend asked the mulla "How old are you?" "Forty replied the mullah." The friend said but you said the same thing two years ago!" "Yes" replied the mullah, "I always stand by what i have said."

[From_Alamut]

When you face things alone You may have lost your donkey, nasruddin, but you don't have to grieve over it more than you did about the loss of your first wife. Ah, but if you remember, when i lost my wife, all you villagers said: We'll find you someone else. So far, nobody has offered to replace my donkey."

[From_Alamut]

Obligation Nasruddin nearly fell into a pool one day. A man whom he knew slightly was nearby, and saved him. Every time he met nasruddin after that he would remind him of the service which he had performed. when this had happened several times nasruddin took him to the water, jumped in, stood with his head just above water and shouted: "Now I am as wet as I would have been if you had not saved me! Leave me alone."

[From_Alamut]

Deductive Reasoning "How old are you, mulla? someone asked, 'Three years older than my brother. 'How do you know that?' 'Reasoning. Last year I heard my brother tell someone that i was two years older than him. A year has passed. That means that I am older by one year. I shall soon be old enough to be his grandfather.'

[From_Alamut]

"When I was in the desert," said Nasruddin one day, "I caused an entire tribe of horrible and bloodthirsty bedouins to run." "However did you do it?" "Easy. I just ran, and they ran after me."

[From_Alamut]

A certain conqueror said to Nasruddin: "Mulla, all the great rulers of the past had honorific titles with the name of God in them: there was, for instance, God-Gifted, and God-Accepted, and so on. How about some such name for me?" "God Forbid," said Nasruddin.

[From_Alamut]

Walking one evening along a deserted road, Nasruddin saw a troop of horsemen rapidly approaching. His imagination started to work; he saw himself captured or robbed or killed and frightened by this thought he bolted, climbed a wall into a graveyard, and lay down in an open grave to hide. Puzzled at his bizzare behaviour, the horsemen - honest travellers - followed him. They found him stretched out, tense, and shaking. "What are you doing in that grave? We saw you run away. Can we help you? Why are you here in this place?" "Just because you can ask a question does not mean that there is a straightforward answer to it," said Nasruddin, who now realized what had happened. "It all depends upon your viewpoint. If you must know, however, I am here because of you - and you are here because of me!"

[From_Alamut]

One day , one of Mullah Nasruddin's friend came over and wanted to borrow his donkey for a day or two. Mullah, knowing his friend, was not kindly inclined to the request, and came up with the excuse that someone had already borrowed his donkey. Just as Mullah uttered these words, his donkey started braying in his backyard. Hearing the sound, his friend gave him an accusing look, to which Mullah replied: "I refuse to have any further dealings with you since you take a donkey's word over mine."

[From_Alamut]

At a gathering where Mullah Nasruddin was present, people were discussing the merits of youth and old age. They had all agreed that, a man's strength decreases as years go by. Mullah Nasruddin dissented. I don't agree with you gentlemen, he said. In my old age I have the same strength as I had in the prime of my youth. How do you mean, Mullah Nasruddin? asked somebody. Explain yourself. In my courtyard, explained Mullah Nasruddin, there is a massive stone. In my youth I used to try and lift it. I never succeeded. Neither can I lift it now.

[From_Alamut]

One day Mullah Nasruddin lost his ring down in the basement of his house, where it was very dark. There being no chance of his finding it in that darkness, he went out on the street and started looking for it there. Somebody passing by stopped and enquire: "What are you looking for, Mullah Nasruddin ? Have you lost something?" "Yes, I've lost my ring down in the basement." "But Mullah Nasruddin , why don't you look for it down in the basement where you have lost it?" asked the man in surprise. "Don't be silly, man! How do you expect me to find anything in that darkness!"

[From_Alamut]

MULLAH NASRUDIN JOKES...

'What are you doing in that tree, Mullah?'
'Looking for eggs" But those are last year's
nests! 'Well, if you were a bird, and wanted
a safe place to stay, would you build a new nest,
with everyone watching?'

______________________________________________

"Why are you sitting at the crossroad, Mullah?"
"One day something will happen here, and a
crowd will gather. When that comes about, I
may not be able to get close enough-so I`m putting
in my time now."

______________________________________________

Mullah Nasruding and his neghbour were
greeting each other. "Good morning," said
the Mullah. "You are looking fine this morning."
"I am sorry I can't say the same thing for you,"
said the neighbor. "YOU COULD," said Nasruding,"
IF YOU WERE AS BIG A LIAR AS I AM.

______________________________________________

The bus was crowded when the little old lady
got on, and Mullah Nasrudin stood up. She
pushed the Mullah back gently and said, "No,
thanks." Nasrudin tried to rise again and she
pushed him back a second time. Finally, Nasrudin
said to her, "PLEASE LET ME GET UP, LADY, I
AM TWO BLOCKS PAST MY STOP NOW."

______________________________________________

Mullah Nasrudin was sitting under a tree
chatting with a neighbor, when his boy came
up the road carrying a chicken. "Where did you
get that chicken?" Nasruding asked his boy.
"Stole it," said the boy. Mulla Nasruding turned
to his friend and said proudly, "THIS IS MY BOY.
HE MAY STEAL, BUT HE WON'T LIE."

[maheroonPradhan]

The city of New Delhi, which is preparing to host the Commonwealth Games in October of next year, will soon be displaying large billboards along its gridlocked roads and on buses in a bid to embarrass those who urinate in public to end the practice, said Mayor Kanwar Sain.

The signs will feature three characters:

Mr Thu-Thu Kumar (the spitter),

Mr Kuda Kumar (the litterbug) and

Mr Su-Su Kumar (the person who pees in public).