is marriage mandatory?

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nargisk3
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Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2004 10:22 pm
Location: San Antonio, TX

is marriage mandatory?

Post by nargisk3 »

Hi ya'll! Okay, I've always believed that in Ismailism, marriage is not a holy sacrament, and that it's not mandatory for Ismailies to get married....but last week, I was reading "The Religion of My Ancestors" by SMS, and this is what he said:

"Let us then study the duties of man, as the great majority interpret them, according to the verses of the Koran and the Traditions of the Prophet. First of all, the relations of man to God: there are no priests and no monks. There is no confession of sins, except directly to God.


A man who does not marry, who refuses to shoulder the responsibilities of fatherhood, of building up a home and raising a family through marriage, is severely condemned. In Islam there are no extreme renunciations, no asceticism, no maceration, above all no flagellations to subjugate the body."

Did I just understand this wrong, or is it really a sin not to get married?
kmaherali
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Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2003 3:01 pm

Matrimonial Responsibilities

Post by kmaherali »

YAM,

My opinion is that we should go by the Firmans of HazarImam which are quite clear about taking up marital responsibilities. Please refer to the Firmans on this matter in the "Precoius Gems", volume 1. You should not feel compelled to get married if the circumstances are not right or you do not feel the need to do it. According to a saying of Holy Prophet Muhammad, chastity is an aspect of faith.
shamsu
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Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2003 8:32 am

Chastity

Post by shamsu »

KMaherali could you please quote the references on your statement that Prophet Mohammed said "Chastity is an aspect of faith".
kmaherali
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Re: Chastity

Post by kmaherali »

shamsu wrote:KMaherali could you please quote the references on your statement that Prophet Mohammed said "Chastity is an aspect of faith".
I read it in "The Sayings of the Holy Prophet Muhammad" compiled by Missionary Jafferali Soofi. The exact saying quoted is: "Modesty and chastity are parts of faith".(Pg 35)
shamsu
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ty

Post by shamsu »

Thank you very much
sheri
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Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2004 4:41 am

Post by sheri »

what do you think chastity means.......in this saying by the holy prophet.
kmaherali
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Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2003 3:01 pm

Post by kmaherali »

sheri wrote:what do you think chastity means.......in this saying by the holy prophet.
Chastity is derived from the word chaste. According to Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary, it primarily implies a refraining from acts or even thoughts or desires that are not virginal or not sanctioned by marriage vows. In my opinion this is the sense in which the word is used in the prophetic saying.
sheri
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Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2004 4:41 am

Post by sheri »

This is the meaning i took out from websters......

1 : the quality or state of being chaste : as a : abstention from unlawful sexual intercourse b : abstention from all sexual intercourse c : purity in conduct and intention d : restraint and simplicity in design or expression
2 : personal integrity

Now what hazar imam says in his farman in precious gems is (not word by word......just what i thought it means) that dont get married because everyone is getting married.....get married when you think you are ready to get married and are able to take the responsiblities. I think this is because there are a lot of divorces these days and that spoils a community and marriage has become a joke in the western world. But marriage has always been a sacred thing other wise the holy prophet wouldnt have the number of wives he had.......and then marriage keeps u away from illicit thoughts.....doesnt drag you to illicit ones.....and i read it somewhere that the holy prophet said that the earlier you get married the better it is. Here are some quotes from the Quran and some by the holy prophet....

Holy Quran:
And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Undoubtedly in these are signs for those who reflect. (30:21)
And Allah has made for you your mates of your own nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you sustenance of the best. (16:72)

Holy Phrophet:
"O you young men! Whoever is able to marry should marry, for that will help him to lower his gaze and guard his modesty." (Al-Bukhari)

Modesty was regarded as a great virtue by the Prophet. He said, "Modesty is part of faith." (Al-Bukhari)

And if you just use ure A'ql which our religion i think is based on.........why do you think god created another sex when he didn't want us to have a mate......see the hard part is living with one person for the rest of your life and i think thats a test which god wants to go through to make us better ppl...because u have to give in....listen to your mate this and that the list just goes on...thats what the saying of the prophet mean s "lower his gaze"....and then he made dogs and animals who just mate with whoever they can........because they do have any morals or the brain to think........so i do think marriage is mandatory..........and chasity has many meanings so not just being a virgin.......and god has made all the parts in a body for some use........not for display........like the eyes to see good and aviod bad..........its like saying dont use the eye for seeing good..........( i hope you understand what i meant by this). I am sorry for the way i have written this....i am not a good writter.
nargisk3
Posts: 49
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2004 10:22 pm
Location: San Antonio, TX

Post by nargisk3 »

Thanks sheri, as well as everyone else, for ya'lls input. A lot of what you said makes sense, and the reason I've been questioning marriage is because, well two things:

the first reason is mainly because marriage isn't a religious institution in ismailism, so it's kind of contradictory if it is mandatory.

the second reason, which is my own personal choice- like i'm not against marriage, and i do hope one day i do get married and stuff, but my goal is to go abroad and teach in third world countries, inshallah through Focus USA. If i pursue this dream, then i don't see how getting married and raising a family is possible, since I'll be out of the country so much....see where my problem arises? That's why i'm so confused about whether marriage is something i HAVE to do. ..oh well, thanks for ya'lls input. =)
kmaherali
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Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2003 3:01 pm

Post by kmaherali »

nargisk3 wrote:the second reason, which is my own personal choice- like i'm not against marriage, and i do hope one day i do get married and stuff, but my goal is to go abroad and teach in third world countries, inshallah through Focus USA. If i pursue this dream, then i don't see how getting married and raising a family is possible, since I'll be out of the country so much....see where my problem arises? That's why i'm so confused about whether marriage is something i HAVE to do. ..oh well, thanks for ya'lls input. =)
You have hit the essence of mysticism or Sufism. The Mursheed has established JamatKhanas and various institutions for the purpose of elevating His murids. The idea being that they will find happiness and fulfilment through which they will be able to detach themselves from excessive materialism. Compared to the satisfaction of Seva, Dasond, Dua, Knowledge and Contemplation(Gyan and Dhyan), the lower joys of sex and marriage will seem trivial and insignificant!
aminL
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Joined: Sat May 22, 2004 3:59 pm
Location: Toronto

Post by aminL »

In my opinion, I do not believe that it is manditory upon a man and a women to get married.  For example, lets say that you are a very bussy scientist who is working o­n the cure for Aids.  Because of the long hours that you are working you may not be able to cope with the extra responsibility of marriage.  Allah says that he wants us to help him reproduce (have children) but if you are going to be able to save the lives of 100's of people then I see no reason why you shouldn't get married. 
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