Is flirting acceptable in our Tariqah?
Is flirting acceptable in our Tariqah?
Well...if we flirt with our friends just for fun n nothing else...n the girl knows that he's not serious...he's just doing it for fun...so is it ok to do ?
hmm...i am just 17.....marriage is far away from me!! now atleast we cannot consider everyone as our sisters? or is it so? I don't do bad-nuzri & I don't have that much guts to stare them & make them feel uncomfortable. but still flirting with someone? To divert their attention? if they're in bad mood then ?
Brother, I've read that topic. I always avoid bud-nuzri now after reading all this. but the fact remains that shouldnt we consider them as simple humans rather than consider them as sisters? Elders are okay to be given a respect as 'Appa' but The girls who are of our age? We definitely should not look any girl in this way. But I am talking about the other thing. not bad-nazri.
If we think them as humans & not be bound to them by any other relationship then ? Look for friends?
If we think them as humans & not be bound to them by any other relationship then ? Look for friends?
As true Ismailis we should be bound by the following Firman which has also been quoted in the thread alluded to above.
"As momins, you must never look at other Jamati women with coveting eyes. You must consider them as your own mother an sisters. What benefit can you get from religion if you look at other women with coveting eyes." (Dar-es-Salaam, September 27, 1899)
"As momins, you must never look at other Jamati women with coveting eyes. You must consider them as your own mother an sisters. What benefit can you get from religion if you look at other women with coveting eyes." (Dar-es-Salaam, September 27, 1899)
I guess in this farman Imam meant that whenever you see girls with a lustful eyes just remind your mother & sister before you so that you may realize that She's someone's daughter too or mother.
Is it so?
But I don't see them like that. What Am I asking it is always like that to accept every girl you meet as your sister? Isnt there a place for Female Friends? Ofcourse All girls require great respect from man & friends are not less than that.
Is it so?
But I don't see them like that. What Am I asking it is always like that to accept every girl you meet as your sister? Isnt there a place for Female Friends? Ofcourse All girls require great respect from man & friends are not less than that.
Yes we are all brothers and sisters (ideally the entire humanity) as per the Quranic verse interpreted by MHI. Hazarat Ali was a cousin of Bibi Fatima. You cannot really differentiate the person you are to marry with your sister. Both have to be treated with dignity.st0necol wrote:Ok.
Then our friends too is our sisters?
Now the sisters phenomena comes when we go for marriage? ?
I said I always try my best not to see them with coveting eyes. I try to find the noor in them and try to respect them alot. So I cannot see their body like the way I used to see before.
I am saying about a fact that if we consider girls as our sisters...My heart probably won't allow it to marry them.....or to love tthem...don't u see a big contradiction? If I consider my women friend as a sister (no lust still involved if i dont treat her as my sister) then I may fall for her. but saying the fact always that she's my sister & then u become really good friends n start to love each other...i mean thats the thing where I feel u commit the biggest sin.
First treating someone your sister & then doing this.
Don't you feel it ?
Take the question out of Bad-Nuzri. I think that farman was made regarding Bad-Nuzri. We should always think of our mothers & sisters when we see any other girl with coveting eyes. I am not talking about that we should do bud-nuzri with friends or not like that..
I am simply asking one question...In Islam marrying a sister is not legal. & How can a person justify his inner-voice if the girl says that we're not brothers & sisters by birth then why think of it & lets have love ? If I consider every girl as my sister, then I guess my inner-voice will never allow me to have love with them or even choose them for a partner. My inner-voice will kill me because for the girl whom I considered my sister..will be going to marry me...
I guess the relationship of brother & sister is very pure. When you make someone your sister, accept it with your heart & then there should be no place for other kind of love left in this relationship.
Please guide me out of all this thing.
First treating someone your sister & then doing this.
Don't you feel it ?
Take the question out of Bad-Nuzri. I think that farman was made regarding Bad-Nuzri. We should always think of our mothers & sisters when we see any other girl with coveting eyes. I am not talking about that we should do bud-nuzri with friends or not like that..
I am simply asking one question...In Islam marrying a sister is not legal. & How can a person justify his inner-voice if the girl says that we're not brothers & sisters by birth then why think of it & lets have love ? If I consider every girl as my sister, then I guess my inner-voice will never allow me to have love with them or even choose them for a partner. My inner-voice will kill me because for the girl whom I considered my sister..will be going to marry me...
I guess the relationship of brother & sister is very pure. When you make someone your sister, accept it with your heart & then there should be no place for other kind of love left in this relationship.
Please guide me out of all this thing.
When you said of Dignity.
Yes I agree every girl should be treated with dignity just like our sisters & mother, instead they deserve that respect. No matter if they're not our sister or mother by nature but still they're of someone else. But my question is why we cannot treat them as friends with the same respect & dignity? Is it necessary to make someone your sister just to avoid evil eyes? I guess a person with evil eyes will still do that because at the back of the time there'll be the thing that this girl is not my real sister. As friends there are different levels of friendship. When you reach at the peak, there are high chances of you falling in love with them (Love without lust). But when you consider someone your sister right from the start. I guess even if you progress to much. You can't fall...because that'll go against the nature. even if she's not ur sister by birth but still you made her your sister.
Please clear all this out.
Yes I agree every girl should be treated with dignity just like our sisters & mother, instead they deserve that respect. No matter if they're not our sister or mother by nature but still they're of someone else. But my question is why we cannot treat them as friends with the same respect & dignity? Is it necessary to make someone your sister just to avoid evil eyes? I guess a person with evil eyes will still do that because at the back of the time there'll be the thing that this girl is not my real sister. As friends there are different levels of friendship. When you reach at the peak, there are high chances of you falling in love with them (Love without lust). But when you consider someone your sister right from the start. I guess even if you progress to much. You can't fall...because that'll go against the nature. even if she's not ur sister by birth but still you made her your sister.
Please clear all this out.
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star_munir
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Nope.
It is not unethical for me at all but it is If I consider the girl as my sister. My heart won't allow it.
I have a best friend with whom I fell in love, recently I broke up. How can I go back & make her my sister? Does it sound well?
And love should be emotional one, not the physical one.
See for example if the cousin is the one with whom I'll marry, and they both consider each other as brother and sister since their childhood. How can they both justify their inner-voice that the guy who was your brother is now going to become your husband?
It is not unethical for me at all but it is If I consider the girl as my sister. My heart won't allow it.
I have a best friend with whom I fell in love, recently I broke up. How can I go back & make her my sister? Does it sound well?
And love should be emotional one, not the physical one.
See for example if the cousin is the one with whom I'll marry, and they both consider each other as brother and sister since their childhood. How can they both justify their inner-voice that the guy who was your brother is now going to become your husband?
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star_munir
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You are right.
I will like to share my views.
When we say love, it is most difficult thing to define. Some people says love is blessing and some thinks it as sin.
Now love is of different kinds. Love for God, love for religion, love for money, love for knowledge, love for country, love for animals, love for parents, family members and relatives, love btween husband and wife or boyfriend and girl friend.
Too much love for material things makes a person greedy and selfish example Qaroon, also once a person killed one prophet because of request of his beloved. So one should have clean and pure heart and should not have greed or selfishness. Also love is not possessive.
Loving some one truly is not bad. God is not against love example you may have heard about marriage of Sabhdhra and Arjun.
There are many examples of love stories that have become part of history. But love not means flirting.
Loving and flirting is different. Also for falling in love it is not necessary to do certain acts as it is said pyaar kiya nahi jaata pyar to ho jaata hai
"Don't go for looks they can deceive you. Don't go for wealth even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright."
If some one is married and one person is looking at her in wrong manner it is badnazri or in anyways if some one is looking at any one with lustful eyes its badnazri I think.
Obviously you can not have relationship of sister with some one you want to marry or may be friends of same age group. But Just like you are spiritual child of Imam that girl is also Spiritual Daughter of Imam.
The thing is one should not do any thing wrong. Otherwise loving some one is not wrong.
I will like to share my views.
When we say love, it is most difficult thing to define. Some people says love is blessing and some thinks it as sin.
Now love is of different kinds. Love for God, love for religion, love for money, love for knowledge, love for country, love for animals, love for parents, family members and relatives, love btween husband and wife or boyfriend and girl friend.
Too much love for material things makes a person greedy and selfish example Qaroon, also once a person killed one prophet because of request of his beloved. So one should have clean and pure heart and should not have greed or selfishness. Also love is not possessive.
Loving some one truly is not bad. God is not against love example you may have heard about marriage of Sabhdhra and Arjun.
There are many examples of love stories that have become part of history. But love not means flirting.
Loving and flirting is different. Also for falling in love it is not necessary to do certain acts as it is said pyaar kiya nahi jaata pyar to ho jaata hai
"Don't go for looks they can deceive you. Don't go for wealth even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright."
If some one is married and one person is looking at her in wrong manner it is badnazri or in anyways if some one is looking at any one with lustful eyes its badnazri I think.
Obviously you can not have relationship of sister with some one you want to marry or may be friends of same age group. But Just like you are spiritual child of Imam that girl is also Spiritual Daughter of Imam.
The thing is one should not do any thing wrong. Otherwise loving some one is not wrong.
I don't know the story of Sabhdura and Arjun 
And yes. Love is not possessive. Love is trust. Love helps one to improve himself/herself as a human being.
I really liked your point of the Spiritual Son and Daughter of Mowla bapa
.
Yup Pyaar kiya nahin jata...ho jata hai....very right. But if it happens to a friend of the same age group. thats right but not to the sister (not by birth) of the same age group. It's a sin according to me.
I try my best not to do Bud-Nazri as it'll hurt only my soul and not hers
But your friends point was good of the same age group. Friends help you to become better then how can you see them with lustful eyes? You definitely can't and it'll give you more sins than a person who saw a stranger girl with lustful eyes.
We should not see a married woman, a girl of our same age group or any other girl with lustful desires. She's someone daughter and sister. And are about to become future mothers.
Either do we know that person or not. She's Ismaili or not. Still GOD created her too and me from the same Light.
And yes. Love is not possessive. Love is trust. Love helps one to improve himself/herself as a human being.
I really liked your point of the Spiritual Son and Daughter of Mowla bapa
.Yup Pyaar kiya nahin jata...ho jata hai....very right. But if it happens to a friend of the same age group. thats right but not to the sister (not by birth) of the same age group. It's a sin according to me.
I try my best not to do Bud-Nazri as it'll hurt only my soul and not hers
But your friends point was good of the same age group. Friends help you to become better then how can you see them with lustful eyes? You definitely can't and it'll give you more sins than a person who saw a stranger girl with lustful eyes.
We should not see a married woman, a girl of our same age group or any other girl with lustful desires. She's someone daughter and sister. And are about to become future mothers.
Either do we know that person or not. She's Ismaili or not. Still GOD created her too
and me from the same Light.